The standard way of tying off an upline is to use a Munter hitch which allows us to easily hoist up, once the person is in position we tie it off with two half hitches.
To see animated versions of the munter half hitch combo check out animated knots.
Or a guide to slings, rings and more.
What you put between your bottom and the hard point is a critical point of failure.
We most commonly see people not understanding their equipment and using it incorrectly, however thankfully most equipment we use was intended for climbing and so is over engineered for us.
The key points of failure I want to point out
When choosing all your hardware you want to be looking for things rated and intended for climbing or aerial arts. The carabineers above are from key rings, hammocks and other sources.
Remember we need something with a 10x safe working load. Meaning if you have a 100lb bottom you would want a working load of 1000lbs. This might seem like overkill but having a safe working margin is important when your gear is all that’s between your bottoms head and the concrete.
What we want to look for on our carabineers is the “kN”
All rated carabiners come with a kN, or kiloNewton rating engraved into the spine. If you have carabiners without a kN rating DO NOT use them for suspension. A kiloNewton is equal to about 225 lbs.
meaning in general we’re looking for anything greater than 10kN to support a person. If you want to understand the nitty gritty there’s lots of climbing articles on kN and how the physics or it all works.
Most rings for suspension are leveraged from either docking rings or custom welded, you won’t see any kN ratings on these. Instead when choosing a ring look for any deforming (if it’s wood) and buy it from a reputable seller.
Some people use Bamboo rather than a suspension ring or carabineers, Bamboo can be quite strong however it requires the correct drying method and humidity. Be sure to regularly check your bamboo for any cracks and retire it when they occur.
This information may look like code, but we’re here to help you decode it.
This is information on a sling used for aerial apparatus (AKA a the loopy thing the lyra hangs from) it describes how much load the slide can support safely in different orientations. Similar to a carabineer we want to look for ratings in kN or the thousands. Some slings are intended for children’s swing sets…and some for towing trucks, make sure you’ve got one that will support an adult.
Sling Orientations
The key thing with slings is while they are strong enough to tow a truck with they can be ruined by abrasion. throwing your sling over a rough surface and having it get cut is the biggest point of failure. Inspect your hard point for rough edges, if you’re doing rope in some place with non standard points (say off a tree, or abandoned structure) be sure to use a blanket or something between the sling and the hard point.
If you’re looking for recommendations you can check out what’s in my gear bag.
Below are word clouds, feel free to cross out, circle or add words to help you brainstorm what you like either generally or for a particular scene
Little Tough
Funny Bratty Ridiculous trouble
cute sweet
Good Clever Pretty Strong
Loved Precious Innocent
Whore Dirty Slut
Cumdumpster objectified weak dumb
Tough
Brutal
Serious
Fierce
Cruel
Stern
Kind Protective
Gentle Calm Masterful
Lenient
strict
Silly
Sarcastic
playful
angry
mean
Playful
Funny
Relaxed Empowering Genuine
happy
Degrading
Intense
Dark
Serious
Painful
Clinical
Fucked-up
Planned
Sensual
loving
Sweet
Sexy
Performative
Note: This hand out is intended to facilitate thinking about negotiating not just for actions but also emotions and goals around what the potential feeling of a scene might be
Synthetic rope (especially nylon) can be very slippery and may not work with frictions, it also requires you tie bulletproof knots which can be helpful for beginners but also frustrating. They also have a high burn rate on skin.
Synthetic blend rope: POSH and Hempx these have more ‘tooth’ to them and keep knots and frictions nicely, slightly higher burn than natural fiber but overall ideal.
Jute -lighter, more tooth, lower tensile strength
Hemp- “hay smell” heavier, softer, moderately stronger.
Any of these are okay for accessory up lines.
in boating they use a x12 safe working load, in theatrical rigging they use a x10 safety factor. Meaning if you have a 100lb bottom you would want a working load of 1000lbs. natural fibers aren’t generally rated for more than 1000lbs making it just barely inside the recommended safety factor for very small bottoms
With all the hybrid and new synthetics there’s no reason to not use synthetic for your primary uplines besides tradition.
If you plan on doing drop lifting, inversions, spinning, flips, climbing on top of your bottom or any other “circus” rope use synthetic or the ghost of Tornus will come haunt you.
In particular issues with natural fibers include:
Natural fiber uplines are fine for accessory lines (arms, ankles etc). or static ties
Rope only to be used in groundwork/ accessory body harnesses:
All of these are rated for 100lbs or less.
The working load limit tells you the maximum amount of weight the rope should support at any time.
| Material (6mm) | tensile strength | working load |
| Twisted Sisal | 44 lbs | |
| Twisted Manila | 54lbs | |
| twisted cotton | 318 lbs. | 48 – 80 lbs |
| Twisted Cannabis Hemp | 234 lbs. | 35 – 59 lbs. |
| twisted Manila Hemp | 540 lbs. | 81 to 135 lbs. |
| nylon braid | 1,325 lbs. | 198-331 lbs. |
| twisted POLYPROPYLENE | 1,260 lbs. | 189-315 lbs. |
| POSH | 1,219lbs |
Ways you can make rigging safer
▪ Don’t lift on a single bight (i.e. use a double bight, A.K.A better bight or australian bight, instead to reduce repetitive stress on the bight). Carabiners and rappel rings also reduce friction stress on the bight.
https://www.boatsafe.com/rope-breaking-strength/
https://www.ravenox.com/pages/rope-tensile-strength
https://www.cdc.gov/niosh/docs/2004-101/chklists/r1n61s~1.htm
So I went to SCRUE the other day and had a really good conversation with GrayDancer and Provocations about rope skill levels and the issues around what is intermediate, but one of the things that really jumped out to me Gray’s comment that we treat suspension as a monolith, you turn on or off the switch, when really it’s several different skill levels, styles and kinds of knowledge needed.
Anyway it make me think about how you might structure a series of classes on suspension.
Suspension basics
baby’s first ‘suspension’ would be a chest or hip harness where the bottom can entirely self rescue by standing, the top gets to practice running a up-line but neither top nor bottom need to feel the stress of a full inversion.
perhaps a second tie is a hammock or M suspension, you work on managing more up lines but it’s not too stressful for the top or bottom.
and this is all you really need for basics.
From here we branch into a few kinds of advanced suspension.
Advanced ties
Fancy harnesses (aguras, elaborate body harnesses etc)
Arm loading harnesses (tengu, TKs etc)
Dynamic ties
Transitions
(understanding shock loading, up line safety, advanced rescue methods)
Curious what other people think and if there’s various other niches within suspension I’ve overlooked.
It also struck me how a lot of people will say “you must/must not” have synthetic up lines, if you’re doing dynamic rigs or major transitions…you really do need synthetic up lines. However but if you’re just doing basics with no shock loading it’s much much less likely to ever be an issue for you if you rig average to smaller bottoms.
One of the biggest mistakes I see inexperienced riggers making besides rigging above their own skill level is tying beyond their bottoms skill level.
While it might be easy to tie a person by only their ankles and wrists it’s extremely challenging for the bottom and unsafe to tie on inexperienced bottoms.
Easy for most Bottoms
Hard for Most bottoms:
Both Strappados and TKs require significant shoulder rotation and some flexibility,
this increases the likelihood the tie will be unsustainable or injure your bottom.
If your bottom wants to do more challenging tying approach it as training for aerial arts. If you want to do advanced ties your bottom needs to practice in those more challenging shapes and ties.
When working with less experienced bottoms ideally look for ties that do not go to the maximum range of motion. If you seeScapular winging this is an indication that the shoulder is in a weakened position and vulnerable for your particular bottom. Test range of motion before you begin tying.
Humans are remarkably adaptive, and can learn to do almost anything, but we need practice to get our bodies acclimatized to the sensations and figure out how to best move our bodies. You wouldn’t try to do the flying trapeze with someone who’s never done trapeze before – even if you’re an expert. Rigging is the same, you need to work and train as a team.
A guide of items you should pack in your bag as a bottom.
your own risk profile. For example if you’re the sole provider for a child you might choose to never participate in any kind of breath play because that’s too risky for you. On the other hand perhaps you are a model and need to have perfect skin, then you might choose not to do impact play unless you’re wearing clothing to protect your skin. Maybe you’re a top and don’t feel comfortable doing anything that could cause nerve damage. Your risk profile is up to you, but it requires that you talk to your partners and think about what level of risk you’re comfortable with. These are all worst case scenarios we don’t have statistics to tell us what percentage of people get nerve damage every year so it’s going to be personal estimation.
Worst case outcome: Death
The Wikipedia article on Auto erotic fatalities is particularly enlightening here.
70 to 80% of autoerotic deaths are caused by hanging, while 10 to 30% are attributed to plastic bags or chemical use.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Autoerotic_fatality
Other methods of autoerotic fatalities include
electrocution, foreign body insertion (especially sharp or large objects), overdressing/body, amyl nitrite, GHB, or nitrous oxide. Mixing drugs and BDSM in particular has lead to deadly results for some people.
Our key advice is never do breath play or bondage solo, and never mix drugs and BDSM.
Worst case outcome: Permanent scar
Serious injury
Nerve injury
Consent failures
Emotionally high-risk activities
We think emotionally damage is actually one of the most common outcomes of BDSM scenes gone wrong. There’s a bunch of ways you can go wrong doing these kinds of play from creating insecurity in a partner to accidentally crossing a boundary. Because of this having a trigger plan to handle emotional fall out can be a good way to help you navigate this kind of play.
If you like doing emotionally intense play make sure you feel safe and secure with your play partners, if you already feel insecure or unsafe this kind of play is going to just make you feel more insecure and unsafe. If you have a history of abuse these kinds of play might be retraumatizing especially if you haven’t addressed the root issues. We recommend finding a kink friendly therapist before delving deeply into anything emotionally fraught.
Remember there are many abusers out there if you’re not sure if you’re in a healthy relationship ask yourself : Do I feel loved and safe? Do I have control of my financial and living situation? Am I respected? are my boundaries respected?
You likely will find that your risk assessment of things will change over time with experience and research, it’s a normal and healthy part of developing your risk profile. We encourage you to have fun thoughtfully!
The term dildo was first coined in around 1400 AD and originated from the Latin for ‘dilatare’, which means ‘open wide’, and ‘delight’. Dildos have been found all over the world, made out of stone, ceramic, jade, gold and even dung. Some theories include that these were worshiped, used to keep orifices closed in the dead, or for fertility…. But we imagine plenty were simply erotic aids. Sex toys are nothing new and nothing to be ashamed of, they can be a great asset in your sex lift whether that’s solo or with an entire orgy.
Sex Toy Myths
Things to consider when buying toys
Toys that we consistently hear are ‘earth shattering’ are: the Magic wand rechargeable, hydromax pump and weVibe melt. (This is not a sponsored post this is purely personal opinion and experience)
Other brands we like are
Toxic Toys
It’s no surprise there’s questionable products out there. But what you might not be aware of is there are Toxic Sex Toys.
Not all toys are not chemically stable and can leach out that oil. The end result is a synthetic oil in your vagina and Anus.
Look for Platinum silicone, a type of silicone that uses only platinum as a catalyser, and is used for medical and food grade silicone products.
Beware of Jelly, Cyberskin, Vinyl and PVC, TPE, TPR, Elastomer, TPR-silicone, SEBS, and silicone blends
Porous Toys
Not safe to share without condoms, can’t boil or put in dishwasher
Non Porous toys are Dishwasher Safe , can be boiled, and are safe to share with proper cleaning
Hands free/remote control Vibrators
The Magic Wand
While there are a variety of knock offs out there the rechargeable Magic wand (previously created by Hitachi) is the holy grail
Alternatives include Lelo smart wand which has a feature where it turns off when it’s not incontact with skin. 8 settings, not as strong, more ergonomic handle
The Doxy is not cordless but it advertises as being the strongest wand on the market.
Toy Dicks
Dildos come in any size from small and firm to large and soft.
Why not use a tool that’s perfect for that particular day?
Internal Vibrators
Brands we like for insertables: Vixskin, Tantus, njoy, Squarepeg, B-vibe, Colours
Harnesses and double ended dildos
Boxer brief or Bikini style
Traditional harnesses
Thigh cuffs and Boot straps
Harness free strap ons
Anything that goes in the butt needs a ring or flared base!
Toys for external genitalia
Lube
Ideas for how to leverage your toys
How to clean toys
Rechargeable toys: use soap and water! we like Hibiclens it’s used on people for pre surgery scrub!
Solid toys: Glass, Metal and silicone: top rack of the Dishwasher or boiling.
If you don’t like cleaning or are sharing toys with someone else consider buying unlubricated condoms for toys, gloves also work well for bigger toys.
We hope you’ll use these tips to go out and have hot sex! For more (free) tips, go to
