I recently taught a class on what we’ve been calling somatic kink. Meaning a kink scene which is focused on the brain body connection and creating a relaxed state.
The nervous system has two states – sympathetic (fight or flight) where we are energized and aware and parasympathetic (rest and digest) where we are relaxed and calm. In kink we typically have scenes which are more like a roller coaster than a spa. Sometimes kink can be a way to facilitate a safe quiet space in your life.
There’s lots of ways to achieve this calm but I wanted to share some ideas about kinds of scenes you might do to create a quiet calming kink scene.
Sensory Play: Massage, hair brushing, feathers over skin, bubble baths, scratching.
Restriction play: Most commonly this looks like bondage but it could be voice restriction or restriction on behavior. Telling them they can’t work or be productive, rather that they need to simply be present. A psychological bondage scene can be very powerful.
Creative play/ childhood regression play: coloring, playing with toys, building legos, being silly..
Directed Relaxation: tell them how to take a bath, how to dress, direct actions very clearly to set them up for success. This could even be a guided meditation or hypnosis.
Rhythmic/repetitive play: Rhythmic impact, anything with a slow steady rhythm that allows the brain to turn off. Hypnosis often uses rhythm to induce a trance like state, just talking in a steady pattern can help relax the person.
Remember for this kind of play the top may feel like they are being boring, but that’s part of the point of this kind of play, to allow the bottom and top to both relax. These kinds of scenes feel like a quiet valley, where you sink deeper and deeper into this safe quiet space.
Hopefully this gives you some new ideas on ways to explore calming kink!