Below are word clouds, feel free to cross out, circle or add words to help you brainstorm what you like either generally or for a particular scene. The idea behind these world clouds is to help you discern what your motivations are for doing a scene and what words you can use to help your partner understand your vision.
I want to play with you because….
- I want to have kinky sex with you
- I want to practice a skill
- I want to feel closer/intimate to you
- I like our chemistry/I want to flirt with you
- I want to be challenged and win/lose
- I want to fulfill a fantasy
- I want to experience catharsis
I want to feel like I am ….
Little Tough
Funny Bratty Ridiculous trouble
cute sweet
Good Clever Pretty Strong
Loved Precious Innocent
Whore Dirty Slut
Cumdumpster objectified weak dumb
I want you to act ….
Tough
Brutal
Serious
Fierce
Cruel
Stern
Kind Protective
Gentle Calm Masterful
Lenient
strict
Silly
Sarcastic
playful
angry
mean
I want our scene/ dynamic to feel….
Playful
Funny
Relaxed Empowering Genuine
happy
Degrading
Intense
Dark
Serious
Painful
Clinical
Fucked-up
Planned
Sensual
loving
Sweet
Sexy
Performative
Note: This hand out is intended to facilitate thinking about negotiating not just for actions but also emotions and goals around what the potential feeling of a scene might be